Jeff put me in the truck and drove off…away from my world as I knew it. Halfway to Lake Louise, he stopped the truck and got out…only to come back with 2 pillows for my comfort. I smiled with sadness, as I had just put my faithful cute Sheltie to rest after learning just 3 days earlier that he had an insurmountable amount of cancer in his bladder.
It was a really sad day. We already had planned a trip to the coast to go sailing for 3 weeks, a couple months ago. I was in quiet thought, trying to remember his quirkiness, and hoping to forever be able to remember and feel his fluffy fur that always made me feel safe and at home. He was my emotional (and physical as he got me out walking daily for at least an hour) support animal for almost 10 years. He was 1.5 when I got him from a lovely family in Calgary.
He was there for me when going through some really tough times. Chace always made me laugh and he’d follow me everywhere I went. He didn’t love car rides too much though. He had cancer a year earlier, which was actually good, as I was somewhat prepared for this day. Intuitively, over the 3 months prior to this day, I had already felt he wasn’t going to be around for much longer, but I ignored it as I couldn’t face it. I was hoping for another 7 years, really. He as 11, but still. He was such a beautiful dog, and my favourite photo subject. He loved it too! Especially when there were treats to earn.
He always made me laugh, and he was a great cuddle dog, taking up about 2/3 of my bed every night with his small body. Every morning we had a routine of me going downstairs to get my morning cup of java, then head back to bed, and he’d jump on my lap waiting for me to be done and lick my cup. He loved our routines. We had been camping a lot over the last 4 months, and he was always a real dog out in the bush. Enjoying guarding the property and getting snacks from the BBQ.
But, it’s over now. And I am super sad, but we are heading out to the coast for some serious ocean and beautiful views, so for the moment, I can put it out of my mind. Jeff drives, I cry and sleep and talk, and he takes me to Kelowna for a lovely lime margarita break on a patio to cheer me up. The sun is out, and that always feels good. Trying to stay in the moment as much as I can. Ocean sounded good to me! I could smell the fresh air just thinking about it, which helped me breathe.
It was also helpful not to be at home, with all the routines, constantly reminding me of the empty space in my heart. He visited me in my dream that night for sure.
